Instincs
by GregoryWilson
Summary: A romance between Logan and Hank. It follows a cross between the main comic and the movie. Since there are many x-men universes, I am going to create my own based off others.
1. Chapter 1

_I do not claim to be an expert at X-men history. I loved the animated show form the 90's and loved the movies. I never liked comic books. I am infatuated with Hugh Jackman's portrayal of Wolverine and the Beast character from the movies. Both men are sexy in real life, but add more muscles like the movies and DAMN they are hot. Without much more rambling, this follows my own X-Men universe. It is some of the animated series, some of the movie and some of me. Main difference, Scott is still alive from end of the third movie, so is Xavier. Some of the powers will be adjusted a bit for Beast, but not much. Also, the characters look like in the movies, Beast is about a foot taller though. Since I will be writing lemons I will do those as their own chapter and warn you before them so you may skip the chapter if you like. I will try not to get to explicit on regular chapters._

**Chapter 1**

Dr. Hank McCoy lay in his bed trying to ease his mind in order to go to sleep. Thoughts kept swirling around his head; most of them about companionship, or lack thereof. As the most mutated of the X-Men he had never had someone touch him in a romantic way. He had never had that special someone that yearned to touch his chest, or just lay with him while they go to sleep. He hadn't even been able to kiss his first girl in grade school before his mutant genes took over his life.

Many times he had thought about using his powers to persuade someone to make love to him. Yet, no matter how much he wanted to, he wanted the touch and passion to be real. His power over his own pheromone levels stayed dormant. So he lay there, tired of being him. After what seemed like eternity, he finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep as a tear found its way to his pillow.

Morning came and as usual he had to strip his bed down from his nightly sweats. Blue fur covered most of the bedding. How he would love to be normal, just for one week. To not have to go through his morning routine of taking most of the fur off his sheets as to not clog up the washing machine. It was so embarrassing the first few times it happened. What he wouldn't give, to wake up with someone to hold, or to even hold him. He had never thought of himself as being the one being held, he was always the one doing the holding. Maybe, just maybe he should give up.

After his long morning schedule, he went downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning everyone, I hope you slept well."

As he was turning the corner to the kitchen he noticed no one was there except Logan. He was used to this as most mornings he would miss everyone else because of his daily rituals. Usually all he received from Logan was some sort of grunt unless he had just gotten back from an x-task or gallivanting around the country doing who knows what. After those outings he always seemed more cheerful and talkative but quickly went back to the grunting. This time however, he got nothing in response. Something had been wrong.

Disregarding his own feelings as pre-usual, he decided to pry.

"Logan, is there anything wrong? You look like your motorcycle just got smashed into tiny little pieces by Sabertooh." Hank knew from experience the only way to converse with Logan was to use sarcasm. Unfortunately he wasn't very skilled at that form of communication.

"There ain't nothin' wrong you furry freak, just having a bad mornin'."

Normally he could take this kind of abuse, pass it off to "Just being Logan" but today he was not in the mood.

"How dare you, every day I come in here and try to be polite. Every day you berate me, call me some absurd name and all I do is try to be cordial." He paused for a moment expecting Logan to say something. When nothing came he continued, "Fine, if you want to be alone, be alone. I can understand now why Jean didn't want anything to do with you."

He didn't see the shock on Logan's face as he abruptly spun around and headed to the danger room for practice his stomach rumbling. He knew he would regret it later as he didn't even get to eat.

Wolverine was late as most of the practice had already taken place. It really didn't matter because Logan was the most experienced fighter, but if everyone had to practice, the least he should do is show up.

No one said a word as they watched him warm up. Furry like they had never seen before played out before their eyes. Logan viscously attacked everything from the trees, to the cars, the innocent bystanders, and the fake enemies. They were all indeed glad that this was not a real fight with real people and surroundings. Scott being the leader let him blow off some steam for a bit, and then shut down the warm up. He held out his hand to the others and approached Logan slowly.

"Are you alright there? You just massacred the entire population of the town." Again, sarcasm; it was how everyone knew how to speak to him.

"I'm fine bub; let's just get this over with."

"All right everyone, get ready. Begin training regimen five." The current city started to dissolve and was replaced by a jungle. This was Logan's favorite. Plenty of trees to climb in order to get high enough to chop off the Sentinel heads.

Training began and the same furry he let go in the warm up came out again. Hank usually teamed up with Logan by using his gymnastic ability to fly through the trees and give a boost to Logan so he could reach the top of the Sentinel's heads. This time the rage Logan was displaying did not allow any such feat to occur. Beast, Hanks x-name, got to the top before Logan, and was waiting with an alley-oop. Instead of accepting help, Logan charged at Beast like a linebacker and continued up by himself.

Hank didn't have time to grab onto any limbs of the trees he flew past because of the brute force Logan had used. He started to tumble downwards. As he hit the ground there was a loud thud and crack heard by everyone. Hank let out an animalistic scream that pierced Logan's conscience. As every veteran warrior knows even lack of a small amount of concentration can go from a successful attack, to a failed attack. That is exactly what happened. As Logan turned to see what the scream was, he got hit full force by a giant machine and thrown directly into the ground. It hurt, hell yes it hurt, but not for long.

Logan's rage had still not subsided and he jumped up and ran to Beast.

"What the hell was that, getting in my way then distracting me on purpose? No one asked your opinion this morning, and no one asked you to help me destroy that Sentinel. If you haven't noticed, no one asked you anything. And if you haven't noticed, you're alone too!"

He quickly left as Scott shouted, "This is a team Logan. Get back here now and talk about this."

Wolverine heard nothing as he was too consumed by his own thoughts.

Beast got up and did a self-diagnosis. Thankfully nothing was wrong, just very sore. His healing ability must have taken care of most of the damage. He hadn't fallen like that in ages. "You're alone too." Kept running through his head and he slowly walked towards the door.

"Hank." Scott called

"Hank," Beast still did not notice.

"Hank!" Finally Hank registered the call and turned. "I'm fine; I just have to go talk with him. I had words with him this morning and I need to set some stuff right."

Even though he could track Logan by smell, he didn't need to. He knew where to go; the garage, or more specifically the one that hosted Wolverine's bike. When times got tough in battle, Logan got tougher; when times got tough in life, Logan retreated. Hank ran towards the garage, knowing that even though Logan had a head start, he could catch him using his agility.

He finally got to the door and opened it while at the same time shouting, "Logan!"

"What? I thought I made myself clear; you and your opinions are not wanted. Leave!"

With that he kicked started the bike as hard as he could. Unfortunately his anger caused him to use too much force, that coupled with the added weight of his metal skeleton caused the handles bars to bend, and the kick start to break off. The bike was the only thing in his life that was constant. The bike was the only thing he had left. He couldn't remember his past; the only thing he knew was he was altered with this adamantium skeleton as a weapon experiment. Since then he searched for belonging which never seemed to come to him.

Fifty years had passed by since he woke up during the experiment. Fifty years he had been alone. The pain that coursed through his body altered the way his instincts worked. No longer could he trust, befriend, or even fully relax. His only instinct was to run. He had been running for fifty years; never staying in one place long enough to actually get to know people. The mansion was the first place he stayed longer than a month; it was also the only place he had a friend.

During his travels in Canada he met Rogue, a runaway teen mutant. The two quickly formed an unspoken bond and because of that, Logan remained. During his three years at the mansion their bond became even closer because they had each saved each other's life at least once. Even though he had gotten to know Rogue, he had still not let anyone get to know him. He couldn't trust them.

Decades of torment flashed through his mind and he couldn't take it, he lashed out decimating his beloved bike. He didn't use his claws, he punched and kicked and threw the bike causing damage not only to it, but to himself as well. What did he care, he would heal, the pain he felt temporarily would help him keep his mind off of his emotions.

Hank watched knowing he didn't want to get in the way. After minutes Logan stopped and dropped to his knees. Most people wouldn't be able to tell but he was crying. You wouldn't be able to hear it, because he had over a half a century of practice hiding it, but Hank could. He could smell the tears; he could even smell the pheromones produced from crying.

"I'm sorry about what I said this morning. I wasn't having a good morning either, and I was just trying to bring some cheer."

"No one asked you to bring anyone cheer. No one ever does."

Hank waited a bit longer not knowing what to do. Usually he was eloquent, but at this moment he knew that one wrong word could mean being attacked.

"I know what it is like to be alone just like you do. Maybe we should talk?"

Logan said nothing. Moments passed before he spoke.

"I'm lonely."

Most people would not be able to read between the lines of this simple statement. Hank however knew exactly what he meant. It was a plea.

"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that about Jean. I know you loved her."

"You don't get it Hank. You don't get it because you don't know what it's like. I can't remember the first part of my life, so I have no reference to what it feels like to be loved. The memories I do have are of a woman who didn't love me back. I had to kill her Hank. I killed Jean. She was the only person that gave me a chance. She was the only person who gave me a chance even though she would never be with me the way I wanted her."

Hank did not respond at first. He knew it would be best to wait, to see if there was anything more to be added.

"Rogue accepts you. She loves you in her own way."

"It's not the same. I love her like a daughter. We have a bond of being the outcast. She only tolerates me because we have saved each other's lives. No one can stand me, let alone befriend me."

Hank couldn't help but smirk, "You don't exactly make that easy you know."

He paused, hoping Logan would understand his meaning.

"What the hell would you know anyway? Everyone here likes you. Everyone here adores you. You're the one everyone goes to for their problems, emotionally or physically. You're needed. "

"That is true, but that is only because I allow them. I am still just as lonely as you are."

"To hell you are. You have plenty of friends. You know what it is like to be hugged. You know what it is like to be wanted and loved."

"I know what it is like for friends to love me, but I have no idea what it is like for that special someone to hug me."

Logan finally turned around and met Hank's eyes. Both men could tell the other one was uncomfortable so there was a standoff.

Hank finally took the lead, "Why don't we go out to the lake and we can talk some more. I know you don't like to talk, but I am asking you for a favor. I know you don't owe me one, but I need to talk just as badly as you do."

Again silence. Logan finally turned around and started walking in the direction of the lake. Not a word was spoken was they sat down beneath a tree.

Hank finally understood completely that if anything was going to happen he was going to have to make it happen.

"Like I said before, I know you don't like to talk so just listen. Maybe after you hear what I have to say you will want to respond. I will admit that everyone here will come to me for their problems. I try to help as much as I can. No one here knows me though. I don't let them. I don't want to burden them with my problems. Your self-loathing seems to be just like mine. No one ever asks me about my problems. I am too afraid to open up to someone because of humiliation. I am too afraid to open up to anyone because of rejection. I might have friends, but I run myself ragged trying to do for them, never asking anything in return. I have to do this so I don't get rejected, who wants to be friends with a beast?"

A pause to see if there was any response, when it was obvious there wasn't going to be one he continued.

"Every night I have trouble going to sleep because of the heat. I don't want to complain about it because I don't want to inconvenience anyone else but my fur is hot. When I finally get to sleep I sweat profusely. In the morning the odor is horrendous and hair is everywhere. I have to spend hours getting the fur off my bedding so I can put it in the wash every day, and because of that I am always late for breakfast. I can't tell you how many times I have been responsible for the washing machines breaking because of my fur."

Logan was still looking at the ground but finally he started to talk, "Hell bub, your life is a living hell. Your problem is you have to groom yourself and you have too many friends. I should just shut up about murdering Jean."

Even though it was an insult, Hank knew at least Logan had calmed down. There was no more rage, just sarcasm. He knew how to deal with sarcasm. He was not out of the deep end yet. He could still smell the pheromones that Logan's depression caused.

"Look, it may not seem that bad but it is."

They sat there in silence looking out over the water.

"May I be completely blunt with you Logan?"

"Sure, I don't have anything else going on right now. I might as well get yelled at some more."

Hank thought it curious that Logan thought yelling had to do with honesty, but decided to keep going forward. "You're an ass hole. No matter how hard people try, no matter what they do for you, you keep them at arm's length, and then blame them for not being nice to you. You even keep Rogue out of your life. Do you realize that the only thing that comes out of your mouth is sarcasm? Some of us have realized that it is how you deal with things, but most people don't respond well to it. You are going to have to try harder to talk to people. Listen to them as well. Stop being such a fucking ass!"

"Why Hank, I have never hard you utter a curse word in the entire time I have known you." Logan said with a jovial sarcastic voice. He paused and continued in his previous gloomy tone, "I guess if I can make you curse, I really am fucked up huh?"

"No, you aren't fucked up, you just have to try. Why not try asking someone else to open up to their feelings and then try and relate. A good way to figure out your own problems is to discuss them with others."

"I'm just not comfortable with that. What happens when I can't help them? What happens if I fail them? What happens when I can't fix them or myself?"

"I don't have an answer to that. You will never know if you don't try."

Logan contemplated that as they sat silently. No one had ever taken the time to ask him these questions. Usually if someone did have a conversation with him this long a yelling match or brawl would have already started. Maybe Hank was on to something.

"So, tell me more about your loneliness then Hank. Even a prick like me can tell that there is more to your story than you let on."

Thinking about it, Hank took a deep breath and began. "When I was just a boy, just hitting puberty, I had a crush on a girl named Samantha. We talked on the phone, went to school football games, and went to a school dance once or twice. Overall for a couple of thirteen year olds we were moving slow. I was raised old fashioned and wanted to court her right."

"Wait. Wait. Wait. No one says court. How old are you?"

"See, this is what was talking about. I am trying to be serious and open up to you, and you go and belittle me."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean anything by it. Keep going.'"

"Yes, well. Eventually we went to the spring dance at the school. We were having a good time dancing to some upbeat tune when a slow song came on. I stopped and didn't know what to do. She took the lead and placed my hand on her back, and grabbed my other to start slow dancing. We stared at each other's eyes the entire song. By the end of it, our mouths were just about to touch when she backed away with her nose wrinkled. She spat, 'What in the hell is that smell!' I looked around and everyone was slowly backing away from me. Murmurs were starting to break out all around me and I looked down. Blue hair began sprouting at an alarming rate all over my body. I screamed out and a feeling I had never felt took over me. I locked eyes with Sam and started to prey upon her. I wasn't going to attack, no, I was going to mate. Before anything could happen I was hit on the head and don't remember anything else that night."

There was a pause and Logan could now smell Hank's strong sullen pheromones. Both mutants shared a healing factor and enhanced senses. Being able to sense what pheromone a person's body was emitting was a great way to read people. Logan used it as a weapon in battle, whereas Hank used it to read other's emotions. This time however Logan used it to read Hank, and he could tell that this was not the time to be snide.

"I woke up in a ditch. I was bruised and sore. Like you I have a healing ability, but mine is slower. I don't know to what extent they had beaten me but I would think enough to kill a standard human. I didn't die. I lived. As time went on I figured out what the smell was. It was pheromones. I could emit them to attract a mate. The thing is it didn't work for Samantha; it repulsed her. In fact, I don't know how it works fully but I think it might be like the way some animal's pheromones work; only your mate is attracted to it. I use to think I should try to control it and lure women to me, but I can't use it like that. It's just not in me. Besides, I don't know how to make it not come off as an obnoxious odor. "

"That is all fine and dandy, but what does this have to be with this situation?" Logan interrupted.

"I'm getting to that, wait for Christ's sake. Patience is a virtue." Another brief pause, "I was alone, I couldn't go home. I was a blue monster. My parents wouldn't accept me, nor should they. I had almost raped an innocent girl and probably countless others if I hadn't been distracted by being in the middle of my transformation. I would have killed so many trying to reach the ones I was after. The rage of the beast inside me was so intense. So, I went out into the world and hunted my food like the animal I made myself believe I was. Eventually I got bored and started sneaking into the library at night to read. I read everything from the classics, to medical books. I was a doctor before I ever went to school. Eventually Xavier found me and the rest is history. He helped me see that it is man's actions that dictate who he is, not his appearance or genes. He helped me to get a fake GED and I went to college. Now I work here."

"What does your story have to do with me?"

"Well, for one I have never told that to anyone. So thank you for listening even though you're still being an ass." He looked over and could tell that Logan felt a little ashamed for his declaration. "I have never had anyone touch me sexually. I have never gone to bed with anyone. I have never been kissed." silence, "I am a 94 year old virgin. Sex isn't even what bothers me. I want to know love Logan. I want to take care of someone. I don't know, I guess I want someone to take care of me. I don't want to be alone. I want to share my life with someone that cares."

Hank looked away, embarrassed. What would he do? Could he trust this man with this information? Suddenly something changed. No longer did he smell desperation from Logan, he smelt something else. Something he had not smelled before. It was intoxicating. His entire body felt like tiny bolts of lightning were traveling through is veins. Never before had a scent done this to him.

As Logan contemplated what Hank had said, he began to identify a lot with the blue man. Not only did they share the abilities of healing and senses, but they also identified themselves as an animal. Hank was an animal on the outside, while Logan was a beast on the inside.

After a while Logan finally decided that he wanted to try to open up to someone, "I guess I can't make fun of you for being old, I know I'm at least ninety. When Striker imbued me with these claws fifty years ago, I woke up and didn't remember anything; I looked to be around forty and hadn't changed appearance since then. I guess were both old men."

There was a small awkward silence. Hank wanted Logan to open up more, but knew better than to push him.

"We both are animals, you and I. You've learned how to be tame, I haven't." He paused again, "I don't remember anything about my past and it infuriates me. When I try to remember, the pain from the experiment fills my body with irrational feelings. I want to flee, to retreat to safety. That is why I leave so much. I have never stayed in one place for more than a month; I go from place to place looking for answers. The only reason I come back here when I leave is Rogue. I want a family and she is as close as I have. I don't know how to open up to her though. I feel responsible for her."

"You aren't responsible for her, you should remember that. What you're doing is just natural, you have a bond with her because neither of you can get close to another person. Albeit for different reasons, but the kinship is still there. I for one am proud of you for abandoning your life style to try and help her."

Logan had never had someone say that they were proud of him. He never seemed to do anything right. The more he talked, the more he wanted to talk. It was like the burdens that he was carrying around added on to the enormous weight of his metal skeleton making him feel like he was walking through life in quicksand.

"I want someone, anyone to accept me for who I am. At the same time though, I want to change. I know I am not perfect, but why should that matter, can't people look at someone and see the good in them and wait for them work out the kinks?" Logan had so many thoughts running through his head and he started to get frustrated. It felt good to get everything out, but at the same time he needed to let it out slowly. Thankfully he was given an out as he heard Hank's stomach give out a loud lurch.

"Wow, hungry much?"

"I wasn't able to eat this morning because of our fight, I'm famished. Don't try and change the subject though, you aren't getting off that easy."

"Look blue, I need to think, and you need food. Let's got get some lunch; I'll buy."

Not wanting to argue, Hank agreed and walked back to the garage. Both men seemed a little more cheerful until they opened the door and saw the devastation of Wolverine's outburst. Logan's scent went from a delightful musk to depression all over again.

"We should pick up before we leave. What do you want to do with the bike?"

"I don't know. I want to fix it, but I think it is beyond repair."

Hank patted Logan on the back and started to pick up the pieces of the bike and put them in the back of his truck. The cleanup didn't take long because of their mutant strength. What would take two or more men to pick up they did with ease. They finally settled in Hank's truck and left for lunch.

"May I be blunt with you again?"

Logan didn't reply so Hank decided to continue.

"Is this the first time you have had to face the consequences of your outbursts?"

Again no answer, but Hank couldn't smell anger or rage so he continued again.

"When you leave, this is what you leave behind: Destruction. Rogue probably feels betrayed every time you leave without saying good bye. The team is always let down. Just because you don't physically rage when you leave, doesn't mean that damage isn't done."

Logan contemplated his meaning. This was the first time he had a violent outburst and didn't run away. Moments passed before he could find his voice to reply.

"I think your statement is truer in my situation than you meant for it to be Hank."

Hank looked over and gave Logan a quizzical look, "What do you mean?"

"I heal almost instantly when hurt. What people don't seem to realize, is just because there is lack of scars doesn't mean that there isn't damage underneath."

Hank was dumbfounded. He had never heard Logan say anything remotely that deep.

"I am here if you ever want to talk about your invisible scars." Hank added trying to be a friend. All he got was a grunt in reply. "So, what do you want to have for lunch?"

"You're the one that had to skip breakfast, you decide."

"Mexican then, it's my favorite."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Conversation was considerably easier than Hank expected it to be. Just typical guy behavior quipping about this and that. As time passed, Hank appreciated that he found someone to relate to. It also felt good to get his frustrations out in the open. He decided that he wanted to help Logan out of his own misery. Even though all Logan did was listen, it was more than anyone had done for Hank since Xavier found him many decades ago. After excusing himself to use the restroom he found a waiter and received directions to a local bike shop.

Logan was silent as he paid, knowing that he was about to have to throw away his prized possession. When Hank turned into a shop with many motorcycles lined up outside he started to panic.

"Why are we here?"

Hank smiled, "Where else would you get a motorcycle fixed other than a motorcycle shop?"

"I can't afford to get this thing fixed, it's a classic, and it's in pieces."

"You'll never know until we ask. Let's go."

Hank proceeded to go inside and ask for assistance leaving Logan to follow like a lost puppy. The bike turned out to be not repairable as is which made Logan feel like he had just lost it all over again. Hank could tell as his pheromones were giving him away. Just as they were thanking the assistant, a man walked by and recognized the bike.

The man turned out to be the owner who loved to build custom bikes. He was a fan of this particular bike, and was a little peeved that the owner would do such a thing. Not wanting to let it die, he offered to use the salvageable pieces to build a new bike.

Custom bikes it turned out were not cheap. The final price was $45,000 which included customized shocks to handle Logan's extra weight. After declaring that he could never afford that price Hank offered to help pay.

"No way, I am not some charity case. I did this myself and I have to face the consequences. Let's just go to the dump." With that he went to brew in the car.

Losing his bike twice was too much for one day. As he sat he started to think, the more he thought the more upset he got. What was taking Hank so goddamn long? The day's conversation leaked back into his brain and he knew he had to change his current mood so he wouldn't lose it again. He needed to change and he wanted to. The image of destruction as his bike lay in pieces all over the garage filled his head. He couldn't have a repeat of that so he just thought. He thought about Jean, and what he had said earlier. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by Hank getting the bike out from the back of his truck.

He got out and asked, "What are you doing? We're going to take it to the dump."

Hank looked like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, "I donated the parts to the shop, saves us a trip."

Logan could tell something was off but just wanted to get out of there so he helped him unload. On the way back nothing was said except a gruff, "Thanks" from Logan.

The next day was Saturday. Even though he slept in a bit, he still managed to get up before everyone else because of his morning rituals. As he was cooking his own breakfast Logan came in.

"Morning bub."

"Morning Logan. How was your night?"

"I actually managed sleep without nightmares for once. Seems your talking theory works."

"I mean it Logan, if you want to talk I'm here."

"Thanks."

They both ate quietly until Hank broke the silence, "Do you have any plans today?"

"No, I usually go riding on weekends, but you know." With that his mood changed slightly.

Hank decided before Logan went back to his regular gloomy self he would try and cheer him up. "Why don't you join me for a hike then? We can ask Rogue to go."

He looked to Logan for an answer.

"I guess I can do that, not like there is anything else to do."

Secretly elated, Hank thought that perhaps the hike would get Logan out of his mood.

Two hours later the three started walking out towards the woods. Logan had not seemed to return to his former good mood he was in earlier that day. Rogue was questioning why the two men were so tense. She knew from rumors that they had a fallen out the previous day, but why would they invite her for a hike if they were still fighting.

"So, what did you two fight about yesterday?"

Logan became tenser but Hank decided to try and lighten things up.

"I was bullying Logan here so he challenged me to a fight at recess behind the monkey bars." He was proud of himself for that quip. It wasn't easy keeping up with Logan sardonically, so why not beat him to the punch.

Of course Logan wouldn't be one upped by anyone, "It wasn't anything. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and Dr. Know-it-all here decided to give me a free therapy session. I told him to bill me, but just between us, I'm not paying."

"You always wake up on the wrong side of the bed." Rogue added deciding not to be left out of the game.

They walked a bit more, talking about this and that happening at the mansion. Rogue was studying for her midterms of her senior year. Just six more months and she will be free of High School.

High School at the mansion wasn't as bad as regular school thankfully. Instead of many little cliques, you had one gigantic clique: Mutants. Everyone seemed to respect one another, because everyone was an outcast. Some of the residents, like Rogue, had no family. They were disowned, or ran away because of their mutations. Others had the support of their family, but were there because society deemed them unworthy of going to school with regular humans.

The mansion was home for everyone. The staff stayed there along with the students. Everyone helped everyone else out. The staff was made up of the teachers and x-team. Hank was the resident doctor, and a reserve X-Team member. As such he did not teach and only went out on missions when it was necessary. He was the only member that only had one job apart from Logan. Logan was just on the X-team.

While the adults shared the responsibility of safety and teaching, the youth did the custodial work. They took turns cooking, doing the laundry, and everything else that needed to be taken care of. There were a few full time maintenance crew members, but not many.

After about an hour and a half of walking and talking about gossip it seemed like the trio had run out of idle chatter. Hank decided that maybe this was time to start heading back. The silence was not helping Hank's goal of cheering Logan up, so he decided to go on the offensive.

"I hear you and Bobby are still going strong after two and a half years. I also hear he won't quit trying to steal a kiss."

Rogue's face turned slightly pink, "He won't quit bothering me about kissing him. He knows how it will turn out. Sometimes I just want to give in just so he will learn that we can never kiss."

"Perhaps you should do just that. If I am not mistaken you know it won't do any real damage unless you make contact for a long period of time. Some people just need to learn the hard way."

"I agree with Hank. The kid will never learn if you don't show him. Just make sure I am around so I can witness it." Logan said chuckling, "I know from experience it will be a shock he will never forget."

"That's just it. I don't want to hurt him. Do you know how hard it is to have to go through your life and not be able to have anyone ever touch you? I want it just as bad as he does, but I can't bring myself to bring pain to anyone."

Both Logan and Hank looked solemn. Weren't they just talking about this exact thing yesterday? It seemed that they had a third person to add to their club.

Hank advised, "I think you should go for it. The longer you wait, the harder it will be."

"What happens when he finally figured out that we can never be together? What if he doesn't accept it? What happens when I have to spend the rest of my life alone?"

Surprisingly Logan spoke up, "Look darlin', either he will accept it or he won't. Either way he won't wait around forever. I say just do what you feel and if he decides he can't be in a relationship where there is no contact, you can still try and be friends. "

Logan found himself in a new pattern. In the past he would always wake up late due to erratic sleeping from nightmares, eat, arrive late at training, and finally leave to ride around for the rest of the evening. Some nights he would go to a bar and play some pool, most nights he just rode. Being alone was something he was used to, being alone was comfortable.

His new daily routine was completely different. He found himself waking earlier because he wasn't troubled with nightmares. As such he would find himself at breakfast with the rest of the students and teachers. At first everyone seemed nervous because of his presence, but after noticing that he just talked with Bobby and Rogue they ignored him.

The X-Team was astounded at this newfound punctuality. While Logan still didn't talk much to the other team members, everyone felt a little more at ease. They could definitely tell he was more chipper, less "Logan". After training he always found himself with Hank. Some days he would help Hank out in the infirmary and others when it was slower they would spend time with Rogue and Bobby in the common room. Afterwards he and Hank would always talk about their past and just buddy around till it was time to go to bed.

Weeks went by and yet he had still not had a nightmare. He felt as though his life had done a complete three sixty. Unfortunately old habits die hard and Logan's instincts told him it was time to run. Hank noticed Logan's irritability and suggested maybe he should spend a weekend at a hotel.

Friday morning Logan woke up and couldn't stop fidgeting. His mind was in escape mode. The mind is a funny thing. Logically he could deduce that his life was good. He had friends, and felt better. Instinctually he felt trapped. After his shower, he decided to skip breakfast and go straight to the Hotel.

At breakfast everyone was curious as to where Logan had gotten off too, but Hank knew he had already left. His truck was missing. He knew Logan would come back Sunday so he wasn't too worried, but he wished he would have at least told him he was going to leave early. He wanted to drive into the city to check on Logan's bike.

The sound of the wheels against asphalt was a like a drug to Logan. The further away he got from his prison, the more relaxed he felt and the anxiety went away. Finally after checking in, he went straight to his room, got comfortable, plopped down on the bed, and turned on the TV. The rest of the day was bliss. No kids to put up with, and best of all, it wasn't the mansion.

Nighttime however was a different story. After weeks of sleeping through the night, he found himself faced with the same terrors of his past. Finally morning came and instead of feeling at ease like he usually found himself in his outings, he felt alone and tired. He missed being able to sleep through the night, and he missed something else, something he couldn't quite place. Checking out at five in the morning, the only thing he could think to do was talk to someone about it. The only person he could talk to was Hank.

On the way home his mind was in over drive. He couldn't figure out what to do. On one hand he wanted to flee, on the other hand he wanted to come back. Usually he would find himself coming back after a few weeks because of Rogue. This time however he couldn't even spend one day away. The lack of friends in his life made it simple. If you didn't have friends, you didn't have a life. If you don't have a life, you don't have any problems. Now that he had friends he had problems. Why couldn't he make up his mind what he wanted? Why did his nightmares come back to torment him.

The more he thought about his problems, the more jumbled his thoughts became. He was walking on autopilot and finally found himself knocking on Hank's door. After a few more knocks he decided to just let himself in.

Hank was right. He really did sweat during the night. A manly musk was in the air, one that was familiar to Logan. While heightened senses can be very useful, they can also be very cumbersome. Smells that usually were just a small nuisance to ones senses were always amplified. Training next to other men who were profusely sweating was never fun. While this smell had a tinge of unpleasant odor, Logan felt himself calming down. It was what he had become used to in these last few weeks.

He walked up to where Hank was on the bed and found him sprawled out naked with no covers. He couldn't blame him. If he really were that hot, he wouldn't want to wear anything to bed either. Hair was everywhere. Logan had already become to empathize with Hank due to both being alone, now he began to empathize because Hank was trapped in himself just like Logan.

Logan was trapped by his inner animal. The Weapon-X experiment had made him trapped in his own instincts. It took away his compassion and love and left him with nightmares and fear. Hank was trapped by his outer animal, always battling his fur and his looks. Both men's animal stopped them from socialization.

Logan did not know how long he had been standing there lost in his own thoughts when he was suddenly snapped back into reality.

"Logan, what are you doing here?" Hank said enthusiastically while trying to find something to cover himself with.

After putting on some clothes he finally sat down on the edge of the bed and motioned for Logan to have a seat at his desk.

"You look horrible. What happened, I thought you were staying for the weekend?"

"I was, but I couldn't sleep." Logan began but then stopped.

"So you just decided that you would break into my room and watch me while I sleep?"

"I needed to talk to someone." Logan briefly paused, "You had said that I could talk to you anytime."

"That I did, I just didn't think you would take me so literally."

"I'll go, I'll come back later. I'm sorry."

"No no. I'm up, but we might want to go to your room. I know mine is a bit musty in the mornings." Hank said suddenly becoming very embarrassed. Not only had Logan seen him naked, but now he was the only person that had witnessed his morning problems.

Logan did not want Hank to know that he secretly found the scent relaxing, almost intoxicating. "Here is fine."

"Ok then, let me at least take a shower so I don't feel all grimy. Why don't you go downstairs and get breakfast."

"Not hungry. I'll just wait for ya."

Not wanting to argue, Hank went into his bathroom and closed the door. Logan suddenly became aware of exactly how tired he was. Getting broken sleep was one thing, you still got rest. Last night was horrendous. He barely got any sleep whatsoever. Something else was making him relax as well. Looking at the bed, he noticed that while there was a lot of blue hair on it, it was only on one side.

While in the shower Hank thought about what this early morning interruption from Logan meant. He was always happy to help someone but did that mean he wanted to take on the responsibility that was Logan? Was Logan using him as a crutch? Most people would have been bothered by this neediness Logan was displaying, but Hank actually liked being needed. It was nice seeing Logan smile. He loved the way his skin winkled near his eyes when he laughed. The joy that was emitted through Logan's eyes was contagious and Hank couldn't help but join in the good mood.

Then there was the scruffiness of the beard. The hair that always seemed to protrude from the neckline of Logan's t-shirts; the endless muscles and hairy arms.

Suddenly Hank became very aware of where his daydreaming had led him. His penis was very much erect and pulsating ready to be released. His mind became frantic in trying to figure out what this meant. Was he gay? He certainly had never thought about it before. Although besides Samantha, he had never been attracted to a woman either. Maybe he was neither gay nor straight; maybe he was just meant to be alone in life and the only reason he was reacting like this was because it was the first time he became close to someone emotionally.

Logic finally won and he decided it didn't matter if he were gay or straight. He enjoyed the way his thoughts made him feel. Who was he to deny himself from feeling good? After combing out his excess hair and blow drying, he got dressed and went back to his bedroom.

Logan was asleep on his bed, hugging his pillow. Figuring he just must have been really tired he decided to leave him be and get something to eat. When he came back up he would wake him up and fix his sheets.

No one was downstairs to talk to, but he made sure he took his time nonetheless so Logan could catch up on his sleep. After cleaning the kitchen and tending to some things in his lab, he finally headed back upstairs. Three hours should be a good enough nap. When he got to the door he could hear Logan mumbling in his sleep. Curious he slowly stepped in and found him in the same position still cuddling the pillow.

The only word Hank could use to describe it was cute. Not much could be cute about Wolverine, but this certainly was. His mouth was open and there was a small amount of drool coming out. He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him sleep for a while but knew he would have to wake him.

"Logan, wake up."

Logan jerked awake while saying in a slur, "Please don't leave me."

"Logan, wake up. I need to fix the sheets." He decided to not to question Logan's statement, after all he was asleep.

"What are you doing in my room, go away, I'm sleeping!"

"You're in my bed, you fell asleep. I need to change the sheets before they spoil."

Logan finally became lucid and got out of bed.

"So, you must have been more tired that you thought if you could sleep in that stench. I wanted to wake you earlier but you were cuddling my pillow and looked so peaceful." Hank said teasingly and began changing the sheets.

Logan sat down and watched him work, wanting to talk but embarrassed about falling asleep. After a while it fell to Hank to start the conversation again.

"So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. I want to figure out what is happening to me. Ever since the first day we talked, I haven't had nightmares. I want to leave for the weekend and I can't even sleep they're so bad. I just don't understand it."

"You seemed to sleep well when you got here."

At this Logan started to blush. Suddenly it was all pieced together in his head. The reason his instincts were keeping him here was Hank. Before he started talking with Hank every day, his mind was always chaotic. Hank's presence mellowed him out. The usual instincts of running and rage were replaced with things more serene. He still couldn't think about what this meant. Not only did just being with Hank make him feel at peace, his scent made him relax and even though he hated to admit it, slightly aroused.

"Logan, what's a matter, you're just staring." He knew better than to mention turning red.

"Nothing, just nothing. I gotta go. Thanks for the chat."

Dumbfounded, Hank couldn't do anything but watch him leave. He was slightly offended but just started his monotonous routine of cleaning his sheets.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Rogue walked up slowly to Logan.

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be gone this weekend."

Without acknowledging her presence, "Tried, didn't work out so well."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Have you kissed love boy yet?"

Of course, the usual defense mechanism.

"I haven't found the courage yet."

"Heh."

Rogue had no idea what to do. She had never been able to get anything out of Logan. What was Hank thinking sending her here?

After about thirty minutes Logan finally spoke. "You know, there are better things to do than to sit here watching me mope."

Rogue smirked, "Consider this a boycott. I won't move until you open up and tell me what is going on."

"Do you think I've changed?"

"Yes, you've stopped being so rude to everyone, you smile a lot more, and you even show up on time to training. Scott was even complimenting you the other day and he hates you."

"What if I don't like what I'm turning into?"

"I don't understand you seem happy. Why wouldn't you like that?"

Nothing was said after that, they just sat silently and watched the water.

That night Logan couldn't sleep again. Flashes of torment and people he couldn't remember plagued his dreams. Rogues words echoed in his head. "You seem happy, why wouldn't you like that?"

Why wouldn't he like that? There was no reason. But he wasn't gay. Wouldn't it matter if he was? Who would care, he sure didn't. He only cared what others would think, but that wouldn't matter because he didn't care what other people think.

He got up and followed the now familiar path to Hanks bedroom. Just as he was about to knock he changed his mind and plopped down beside the door. This was good, this was close enough but not too close. He could smell him and he could sense his presence but Hank wouldn't know he was there. He felt himself relaxing and just as he was about to fall asleep he was startled by a giant blue man in the doorway.

"Come inside, let's talk."

"I'll just go back to my room. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, you're going to come in and talk. You woke me up this morning and we are both here now. Come." Hank was getting irritated. He was a nice guy, but Logan's cowardice was going too far.

Both men sat down and stared at each other.

"Spit it out."

Logan was a little disconcerted at the aggression Hank was using.

"Look, I'm sorry about this morning. I'm sorry I am me. I don't know what to say." Even though he made this statement, just starting to talk loosened his tongue, "I don't want to be here, but I can't stay away. I don't understand what my body is telling me to do. I am addicted to my own misery, and I am becoming addicted to the peace that I have when I am around you. I am afraid to admit that," he stopped himself.

Hank finished for him, "That you think you're attracted to me?"

Another staring contest.

"It's ok, because I know I am attracted to you. You drive me crazy with your constant mood swings, and I wish to hell that you wouldn't be so rude and sarcastic all the time. Even so it's worth putting up with you just to see that rare smile come across your lips. To see the life in your eyes as you tell a story." He waited for a response. "Well, I broke the ice. It's your turn."

"How can you be so comfortable with this?"

"Does our time together make you happy?"

"Yes."

"That is why I am so comfortable with it. It makes me happy too. I was a little afraid at first because we are complete opposites, but I figured out it doesn't matter if I am happy."

Logan let this sink in. "So, does this mean we are dating?"

"I don't see why we have to label it."

"I want to know where to go next, without labeling it; I don't know where to take it."

Hank pondered this for a few moments. "How about this, we just follow our instincts."

A giant elephant could have been in the room, and neither man would have noticed. After this exchange of emotions the only two people in the world were each other. Finally Logan broke out of his reverie.

"I think I should be going to be now. I will see you in the morning."

Hank watched as Logan went to the door. "Wait, Logan."

Logan turned around and was surprised to see Hank walking up to him with a pillow.

"After this morning, I figured this might help you sleep better."

With that Logan left with Hank at the door watching. "The ball is in your court now."

Logan knew what he meant. Hank had taken the time to ask him what was wrong, had put up with his snide quips. He had healed him and was the first to admit what they felt about each other. If anything was going to happen now, it would be Logan's responsibility. He slept well that night, because he dreamed of the future. He was surprised to find out that the future was blue.

Christmas was coming up, and Logan still had not made a move. He spent the majority of his time with Hank like before but they didn't take anything further relationship wise. Christmas was coming and Logan was becoming more anxious every day. Holidays were just not his thing. It was the time for families and friends, the one thing Logan never had. That is why for the past two years he would leave the mansion and not come back till after the New Year. This year was different though. He didn't want to leave Hank, nor did he want to make Hank mad at him by disappearing.

"Logan, what's wrong."

"Nothing."

Hank sighed, "Don't start this again. You and I both know there is something wrong, and you know I am not going to leave you alone till you tell me."

"Fine," he relented and related to Hank all that he had been feeling.

"What is so bad about Christmas? There are presents and everyone is in a good mood."

Logan tried to explain why he didn't like Christmas but couldn't put words to it. Once he started talking himself into a rut like he usually did, Hank interrupted him.

"Why don't you just give this Christmas a chance? I have a feeling you will like it."

With an arched eyebrow, "Why is that?"

"Oh, I just think Santa Clause might have a present for you this year; a very special present."

"I don't want a present. Whatever it is return it."

"It is too late. I already have it paid for, it is non-refundable and you're getting it no matter what."

Logan was embarrassed, he hadn't even thought about Christmas gifts, he had never gotten one, or given one. Not at least that he could remember. "I don't want one. I don't know what I could get you anyways."

Hank looked into Logan's eyes. He could tell that he was frightened, but there was also a little embarrassment.

"The only gift I want is for you to be here. Rogue will probably love that are staying as well."

Still the look of torment did not wash away on Logan's face.

"I tell you what. If you agree to stay here, and try to appreciate my gift, we can go camping the day after Christmas to proverbially 'Get away from it all.'"

Finally Logan conceded. "Fine, I'll stay. I'm not going to be happy about it though."

"You never are." Hank said with a big goofy grin.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Well, for one you're staying. Also, I can't wait to see the look on your face when you see your gift."

Logan blushed. "I don't get why you would be happy about giving someone a gift."

"That is what the holidays are about: giving. It doesn't having to be about just getting gifts. It is giving time and attention; it is spending time with the people you care about."

"I guess that means I get to go shopping. What do you want?"

"Oh no, it doesn't work like that. You buy a gift from the heart, and I already have what I want. You do need to go shopping for Rogue."

Hank had to all but drag Logan to the mall for shopping. At first he was very uncomfortable, but soon got into the spirit of the season as he saw the look on Hanks face as he picked out gifts for the kids that didn't have families to go home to.

Each year the younger kids, seven through twelve, would get gifts. For fun Hank would dress up as Santa. There weren't many kids in that age range as most of the time the mutant gene would show itself around puberty: ages thirteen to fourteen. None of the kids still believed in Santa, but a good time was had by all. The older kids had to accept that there wasn't enough funding to buy everyone a gift. Instead they went into a secret Santa with the teachers and staff that stayed at the mansion. That way everyone got at least one gift and friends could exchange gifts with each other.

This year Logan was on the lookout for a gift for Rogue, Hank, and his secret Santa named Cypher that he had never met. Thankfully Hank knew that Cypher loved to skateboard, so that was easy: a skate board maintenance kit. He had no idea what to get Rogue. Hank shot down all Logan's ideas about bath soaps and makeup kits saying they were too impersonal.

After many more ideas he thought about the one thing she used a lot, gloves. Rogue used them every day, all day because she could not touch other people in fear she would hurt them. Her power absorbed the very life force from them.

Finding the right gloves was not an easy task. Logan wanted to find just the right gift now. He could honestly say he knew what Hank was talking about. Spending your energy trying to find the right gift for someone you care about made you happy. It made you think about all the things that you like about that person and all the good times you shared.

The one thing he knew about Rogue is she was about to officially become an adult. As such, he wanted to get her something she could wear out. Usually she just wore something black to match her attire, but she needed something she could attend events with. The saleswoman helping him knew exactly what he was looking for. They were the most elegant gloves he had even seen, not that he was an expert on gloves or women, but he could tell that these were special.

Two gifts down, one to go. Hank turned out to be the hardest. What could a grown man that didn't like sports or technology want?

Logan decided to make a list of what he knew about Hank. His list was quite long.

Furry

Blue

Big

This list was going now here, he had to think deeper.

Nice

Smart

Doctor

This wasn't helping. What did he know about Hank?

Generous

Always Giving

Honest

Always put others before himself

Funny

Loner

Beautiful

Likeable

Cuddly

Beautiful and cuddly; Where did that come from. Certainly no one would ever think to label the big blue man that. Perhaps what they said is true, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." He was getting off track. "Think!"

Suddenly he looked at this list as a whole. He had the perfect idea. He chuckled to himself, "Well Hank, if this isn't making the next move I don't' know what is."

Christmas day came and Logan was woken up by an anxious Rogue

"Wake up Logan, it's Christmas. You're going to miss all the fun!"

Groggily, "How is watching a horde of children go ape shit on a pile of presents fun."

Suddenly he was bombarded with pillows. "Wake up you scrooge. I was told that I wasn't allowed to open any of my presents till I got you down there."

"Fine, fine. I'm up."

When he finally got dressed and came down stairs the scene before him was so funny all the anxiety went out of his system. Hank was dressed head to toe in a Santa outfit. Blue fur was creeping out of all the seams. It looked like a huge blueberry was stuffed inside a cherry costume. He couldn't help himself and started to let out loud guffaws.

"Ha ha, very funny Logan." Hank spat. All the children were shocked to see the "Wolverine". They had heard tales of Logan but they were all mysterious and dangerous. Most of the stories involved his rage.

When things finally settled back down Hank started to hand out the younger children's gifts. Carnage was the best word to describe it. These were the kids that were disowned from their family and society. As such they didn't get many new toys. There were a lot of shared toys in the mansion, but nothing the kids could call their own. Logan couldn't help but smile at the way Hank's face lit up every time a kid hugged him for their gift. It was worth staying here and dealing with his anxiety just to see Hank's smile.

"Ok, now that the kids have gotten their presents let me go get out of this suite, take a shower, and we can start the secret Santa."

Logan waited about five minutes and followed Hank up to his room. Now was the perfect time to set up part one of his Christmas present. Once inside he heard Hank call from the shower.

"Who is it? I'm in the shower."

"It's just me Hank. I'm just waiting for you to talk. I have something important to tell you."

"Can't you wait downstairs, I'm naked in here."

Logan chuckled, "We both have the same parts. If it makes ya happy I'll shut the door."

Quickly he ran to his room to get two portable air conditioners. He found places to put them on opposite sides of the room and set it for 60 degrees. He didn't know exactly how cold Hank would need it, but this would be a good start. The thermostat during the winter was normally around 74 degrees for the non-hairy humans, but Logan noticed Hank was always sweating. Leaving the window open in the winter only made it too cold, this should make it more livable for Hank.

After that he waited. He waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally after about forty five minutes Hank came out dressed.

"Jesus, what took you so long? I thought you had died."

Hank looked ashamed. "When I get to hot I start shedding. Fur gets everywhere; takes me a while to get it all situated."

"Well then, you'll like your present." He motioned towards the air conditioners, "It will take a bit too fully kick in, but it will cool things off in here. I remember you telling me you didn't want to turn the thermostat down because of other people, now you don't have to."

"You didn't have to do this; I don't know what to say." He started to ramble but Logan stopped him.

"Look, you told me I had to accept your gift, so you have to accept mine."

After a few more moments of awkward silence Hank told Logan that he didn't know how to accept a gift, he was always the one giving one.

"I don't know how to accept one either, but I think 'Thank you' is a good place to start."

"Thank you Logan."

"You're welcome Blue."

Hank gave a quizzical look. "Blue?"

"I'm trying out some nick names for ya; figured I'd start with Blue." Logan said sheepishly. "I think it is becoming my favorite color." Realizing what he just admitted, his face turned deep crimson.

Both men stood awkwardly not knowing what to do. Logan decided it was his turn to make a move so he walked up and gave Hank what would now be put in the Guinness World Record book for the "Most awkward hug in the history of man".

Hank finally gave back an equally awkward hug and then they broke apart not looking at each other's gaze.

"I think maybe we should get back down so the older kids don't start tearing up the place."

The Secret Santa was a bit more organized and calm. The participants each took turns giving their gifts. Logan was embarrassed when he had to get Rogue to show him who Cypher was.

Cypher had just turned thirteen. His first growth spurt had started and he was tall and lanky, but his face still held his baby fat. He had short black hair and very vivid green eyes. Logan approached and could tell a lot about the kid just from his body language. He was standing up straight, trying to be imposing but Logan could tell it was just a front. He was intimidated.

Something awoke in Logan. He didn't want to scare a kid on Christmas. He was a monster. He knew he had to try more. Not only for himself, but for Hank. There was no way he could go on being a loner and be with Hank. Hank knew everyone.

"Hey bub. I got your name. Go ahead, open it."

Cypher stared at the gift for a while then timidly took it. After slowly unwrapping it, a smile crept up on his face.

"I was told you like to skateboard. This here is a maintenance kit. Should help you keep everything in order." While it felt weird to be happy for someone else, it was a good weird. Just seeing the joy a simple gift could give another person made Logan want to do more. Without realizing it he added, "If you need someone to show you how to use the tools, just let me know and I'll help ya out."

Logan jerked as he suddenly found himself being hugged by the kid he just met. As quickly as the hug began, it stopped with Cypher running off with his gift.

Logan walked back to Hank, "Kid doesn't say much does he?"

"Cypher doesn't talk. We found him through an orphanage and not even they could get him to talk."

"So he's mute?"

"No, his vocal chords are fine, he can grunt and make other sounds; he just doesn't talk. It's something mental. Probably traumatized."

Logan found himself enjoying the day. It started off a little rocky, his instincts telling him to flee. As the day got longer he found himself relaxing watching other interact. He had to stick close to Rogue or Hank though, when he found himself alone he quickly started to have anxiety problems.

After a late lunch Hank told Logan it was time to receive his gift. Logan anxiously followed a grinning Hank towards the garage.

"What are we doing in here?"

"This is where your present is."

Logan followed Hanks gesture and laid his eyes on a grey tarp, covering what looked to be the shape of a motorcycle.

Hank could sense Logan's excitement through his heartbeat, and his pheromones. Swiftly Logan threw the tarp off the bike and was floored by what he saw. A custom chopper built from his old motorcycle. He encircled it several times touching this and that, examining the chrome details.

Suddenly Hank noticed Logan's pheromones going from excitement to despair. "I can't accept this, it's too much."

"What do you mean, it's already paid for. I want you to have it."

"I can't accept it, I don't deserve it. My gift was nothing compared this this. Take it back, get your money back. Buy something for yourself. I can't take it."

Hank was dumbfounded. "I just wanted you to be happy Logan. I thought you missed riding."

Logan looked at Hank. He could see that he was hurting him. "I love it. It's perfect. I just can't accept it. It must have cost upwards towards forty grand."

"It doesn't matter how much it costs. Remember our agreement? Please, just take it; I want you to have it." He held out the keys.

Logan didn't know what to do, half of his instincts where telling him to run, to hide from the anxiety the situation was brining. The other half wanted to jump for joy and engulf Hank in a hug. He looked back to Hank and saw his forlorn expression. He knew what he had to do.

"You do realize that you have to tell me what you want for Christmas now, no excuses." He said taking the keys.

He mounted bike and put started the bike. It purred just loud enough to make a statement, but just soft enough to be relaxing. As he was wheeling it backwards out of the garage he had a thought.

"Come get on the back, you're coming with me."

"Oh no, I'm not going anywhere on that thing. Bikes aren't for me."

"Come on, you can't be afraid of a little ride. You can jump twenty feet in the air and do an almost unlimited amount of aerial feats. You can't tell me you're afraid of riding on a motorcycle."

"It isn't the riding that I'm afraid of, it's the crashing." Hank admitted.

"I have never been in an accident. Besides we both have incredible reflexes, we aren't going to crash."

"No."

With a sad puppy dog face, "Please, I accepted the bike, you owe me."

"That is the most twisted logic I have ever heard." Hank grinned. "Fine, but just this once, and we aren't going to go far."

He got on the back." Just grab my waist while we start off, after that you can let go."

Logan took off and began down the road. It was 15 degrees outside, definitely not the weather you would go riding in for fun.

"This is pretty fun." Hank yelled.

Logan turned back, "I told you so!"

A little while later Logan decided to have some fun so he tilted the bike a little further than needed around a curve. Two brawny arms encircled his waist and a ferocious yelp could be heard from the back of the bike.

"What are you doing, trying to kill us?"

Logan smiled. Suddenly Hank became aware that his hands were still around Logan's chest, and he was pressed against his body holding him. He quickly rectified the mistake only to have Logan grab his arm and place it back around his body. They rode for a few more minutes before Logan turned the bike around.

After the bike was put back into place they stood.

"So, did I do well with the modifications?"

"It is amazing. I have never seen or ridden anything like it. Thank you." Logan admitted.

"You're welcome. I know what I want you to get me for Christmas."

"Anything, you name it."

Hank blushed and looked at the ground. "It isn't really what you can get me; it is what you can do for me." He paused, "Please, just don't leave without saying good bye. If you have to go let me know about it."

Logan didn't know what to say. No one had ever wanted him around. "I can do you one better. I just won't leave without you."

Hank looked up to look Logan directly in the eye, a sparkle in his eyes from tears forming. "Don't' say it if you can't do it."

Logan closed the distance to Hank and pulled him into a hug. This time a little less awkward. "I won't' promise that then. I will promise you that I will work on it. I promise you that I will try my hardest for us."

"I guess that is all I can ask for then. Thank you." He pushed away, "Now then, let's go get Rogue and Bobby and exchange gifts with them. I am sure she is excited for her first present from you."

To Logan's surprise and delight, Rogue loved the gloves. He couldn't help himself when he said, "So, what did ya get me?"

Rogue chuckled, "Well, my gift to you has to do with my gift to Bobby."

Both Bobby and Logan looked at her like she was insane.

"Before your eyes pop out of your head let me explain. First, I'm sorry Bobby, but Logan asked and well, it was the only thing I could think of to get him for Christmas. Second, Logan you owe me big time if this goes wrong." With that she picked Bobby up by the collar and kissed him dead on the lips.

Bobby's eyes were bulging not only from the surprise and force, but from the power of Rogue's mutation. She stopped the kiss and looked at Bobby to see if she had hurt him. At first he didn't move and Rogue thought she had done some permanent damage. Slowly a smile crept across his face and he pecked her on the lips before adding, "Damn that hurt, but it was so worth it."

Logan couldn't help himself and broke out into loud guffaws for the second time that day. Hank looked at him and quickly joined him easing the tension in the room.

"I gotta say kid, best Christmas Present ever."

"Hey!" Hank protested.

"Sorry, second best Christmas Present ever."

Rogue's curiosity was piqued, "What did Hank get you then?"

Logan didn't like being put on the spot so he froze. Quickly he thought about the motorcycle and their short ride. He decided to give Hank part two of his gift.

"He gave me a motorcycle, but that pales in comparison to what he has really given me." He looked to Hank and continued, "He gave me this day. I have never experienced Christmas before because I didn't believe I had a friends or a family. Now I do." He gestured to Hank, Rogue, and Bobby. "Thank you."

Rogue knew something was up, she had noticed a complete change in the way Logan behaved. He was still sarcastic and a little surly, but he had a spring in his step. He was happy. It dawned on her what it was. Logan and Hank were together. A knowing smile formed on her face.

Logan looked directly at Hank, "He gave me my life back."

The atmosphere was tense until Rogue spat out, "Ok, I've been embarrassed today, your turn. Let's see a kiss!" All three men in the room became very uncomfortable.

Bobby noticed the awkwardness between the two adults and decided to extricate himself from the situation. "Rogue, let's go see how the kids are doing." He had to drag her away from her torment.

Moments went by and neither man talked. "I meant it."

"I know you do. I just am not used to you being so eloquent."

With a wry smile Logan said, "It was part two of my gift to you. Now that it's over I am going to go back to my grumpy old self."

"Part two, how many parts are there?"

"You'll find out."

The rest of the day went by quickly. The entire time Hank teased Logan about wanting to know what was left of his present. After dinner they found themselves in Hanks room chatting about nothing when Logan decided to give Hank part three.

"I want to thank you for everything you've done for me."

Hank was stunned by the sudden change of topic. "I haven't really done anything."

"Yes you have. You've made me see that I can rely on other people. I can have friends. You've made me into a person, not some monster that I was. I want to say some things that I think are going to be embarrassing, but I have no idea how to tell you otherwise." He paused to gather himself, "I think you're beautiful."

Hank interrupted him aggressively, "I am not beautiful. If anyone is a monster it is me."

Logan looked at Hank and couldn't understand why had suddenly became angry. "You aren't. Everything about you is beautiful. When we first talked out by the tree, I found myself dumbfounded at how much you made me want to open up to you. It was the first step I needed to heal. Only a person with a beautiful soul could do that."

"It isn't my soul I'm taking about. Look at me; I'm a huge blue furry mess. Nothing about me is beautiful." Hank stood up and gestured to himself as to prove a point.

Logan stood up and walked over to him. "I am looking at you. What I see is beautiful man."

"Could you please stop using that damn word?! I am not beautiful."

"You are, and I am not going to stop using it. It is what I feel. When I first noticed I was becoming attracted to you, it was only because you were nice to me and made me feel safe. At night I would dream about you and the dreams would fight off the nightmares. After spending more time with you I started to notice how beautiful your body is." He looked him dead in the eyes. "Your eyes I have to admit are the most beautiful thing about you. When I am brave enough to look into them it makes me feel as though you and I are the only ones that exist."

To prove his point, he didn't say anything for a while. He just slowly got closer to the bigger man.

"I admit that I was not attracted to the rest of your body for a long time. It was not because I thought you a monster. I couldn't admit to myself that I could find another man beautiful or sexy. As we spent more time with each other, you made me feel at ease with myself. I finally got around to questioning myself about my life. I admitted I wanted to change, and you've helped me with that. Eventually when I figured it all out, I began thinking of you in a different way. The first thoughts I had were of your chiseled face." A hand made its way to the side of Hanks face. "It's strong, and profound. Every time you smiled I felt myself looking towards your eyes. The wrinkles there when you laugh make me feel alive. Then I went down and found your body. Layers of muscles that for some reason I just want to touch."

Logan took both his hands and placed them on Hank's chest, slowly rubbing his hands through the thick fur. He looked back to Hank's eyes and found nothing but anxiety and sadness.

A whisper escaped Hank's lips, "Please stop."

Logan was confused. He could tell that Hank was becoming aroused. He could smell it in the air, but at the same time he could smell anxiety and sadness. He saw tears forming in Hank's eyes. Not knowing what to do, he pulled Hank into a hug.

"I'm sorry; I just wanted to prove to you that you are beautiful."

"But I'm not. I am a Beast." He emphasized his given nick name with disgust.

The hug stopped and Logan took his hands and placed it on each side of Hank's face. "You are not a Beast. You are a beautiful, kind, generous, caring, loyal, and smart man."

Lips met one another as Logan closed in for a kiss. At first there was no passion behind it. Both men were scared about what was happening even though each one had secretly thought about it for weeks. After a few moments, Logan's arms found Hank's waist and pulled him into another hug. The closeness that each man felt melted away the barrier that prevented the kiss from being intimate.

Hank's hands finally found themselves around Logan's back. As the kiss prolonged, Hank felt himself having uncontrollable feelings. Just as his pheromone ability kicked in he pushed Logan off.

"Stop!" Hank moved away and darted out the door leaving a bewildered Logan staring at the empty doorway.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Logan stood at the door dumbfounded at what had just taken place. He wasn't an expert at human emotion by any means, but he did know what the pheromone Hank produced was. It was that of pure lust and arousal.

As he stood there thinking about what to do, he thought back to the first day Hank talked to him.

"I locked eyes with Sam and started to prey upon her. I wasn't going to attack, no, I was going to mate."

He had just made Hank re-live one of the most painful memories of his life. The reasoning behind it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that he had caused this, and he had to fix it. There was no way he was going to run from this problem. There was no way he was going find a way to ruin this relationship.

In the blink of an eye Logan took off down the hall way to track Hank. Instinctively he knew Hank would flee outside, to get away from the children. There was no way Hank would endanger the children. This was his home, he would protect his family.

The woods behind the mansion were vast. No regular man would be able to track Hank in this weather. Thankfully Logan was attuned to the blue man and could sense his smell no matter how faint. The tree they had sat at many times just talking was thrashed. Bark was scrapped off like a large animal had clawed at it trying to sharpen their claws.

As Logan ran he noticed Hank's gait had changed from a misshapen humanoid foot, to that of an animal. More trees were clawed and there was the strong musty scent of Hank was everywhere as if he was an animal marking his territory.

The scent drove Logan crazy making his skin became ultra-sensitive and developed chill bumps, his crotch grew tighter.

The only thing that kept him half sane was his thoughts. Logan couldn't comprehend what was going on. How could a lovable easy going man like Hank turn into a primal animal? This was all his fault. He made Hank what he always feared, a beast.

The foliage around the trail was in complete turmoil. It was if there was a fight going on. The tracks now changed between human and beast. Hair was in abundance followed by blood. Was something attacking Hank? This thought alone made him focus and he was able to run faster than ever before.

Finally getting closer he could hear growling and thrashing.

"Hank!"

Suddenly everything went silent. Logan tried to strain his eyes to make out the movement he was seeing before, but could not locate it.

Trudging slowly forward he called out again.

"Are you alright? Hank?" No answer. "I'm sorry"

The hair on his back stood up and he quickly he sense movement from behind him. Hank was preying on him. Not preying, mating.

There really was no differentiating between the two when Logan turned and saw a blue monster leaping at him. Gone was the vibrant blue fur coat. Gone was the cheerful smile and the beautiful eyes. What replaced it was a dull blueish-black fur, with red eyes and fangs.

Logan's first reflex was to stretch his claws and prepare for the impact. As he realized he did not actually want to kill his attacker and suddenly he found that Hank was on top of him forcing him into the ground. His crotch was bare and exposed grinding against him. Hank slowly sniffed Logan's body as a growl escape.

Earlier that day Logan was going to give Hank the third part of his Christmas gift: to make love to him. To prove to the man that he was indeed worth loving, and was indeed beautiful. Logan could not let Hank lose his virginity like this, nor did he want to be the victim of rape.

"Hank, stop. I know this isn't you."

As he struggled to get up the beast violently bit down on his collarbone as to a cat does when it is trying to control its prey. Blood poured out of the wound. After the teeth were dislodged it quickly healed up. This would have stopped any prey or potential mate normally as it had hit the jugular vein. To Logan it just hurt, a lot.

Rage mode set in and Logan kicked the animal off. Both men were in beast mode. One with years' experience fighting, one using only his instincts.

Any normal human would not have been able to make out anything but the small pauses between the clashes of the fight. Both men sustaining injuries, but only one's healed almost instantly. Hank started to slow down, which was fine with Logan. He fought even harder trying to tire the beast out completely.

Finally after several minutes Logan got the upper hand. With a final leap he found himself successfully holding down Hank with his added metal skeletal body weight.

"Hank, if you're in there, I'm sorry."

The beast didn't have any response except to growl.

"Please come back. I'm sorry I ruined Christmas."

Still no response.

"I will do anything. I'll even break my promise." After all that energy was expended in the fight, he couldn't hold back his emotions any longer and he began to openly weep. "I'll leave. I'll go away so you don't have to fight this beast within yourself anymore."

The creature began to roar loudly. The dark fur started to become vibrant again, the facial features became more human. Hank was coming back. The roar turned into a yell, "No!"

"If it means you'll be safe, I have to. I can't do this to you."

Hank found a reservoir of strength and threw Logan onto his back reversing their position.

"No, you promised!"

A tear fell off of Hank's face and onto Logan's. "You're not going to leave me. I didn't open myself up, and let you in just to have you leave. I didn't risk everything for you, to have you lie to me." Logan let the man vent, there was no more aggressive behavior, just energy that needed to be expended. "Please don't leave."

Logan contemplated the words and looked over Hank's injuries. There were missing parts of fur that were still bleeding openly. Around the open wounds fur was matted and clumped with drying blood. Sticks and dirt were tangled in Hank's hair. A gash was on the once perfectly chiseled face. He reached out to touch it.

"What about this?" He motioned to the bleeding cuts. "This is all my fault."

"No it's not. It's mine."

Not understanding, "I was the one that tried to seduce you. I was the one who. . ."

But he was cut off, "No. I was the one that couldn't control myself. I am the ugly beast."

As both men took in what the other was saying, the realization that they were in the cold, one naked and bleeding hit them. Hank quickly got up and ran off behind a tree looking for his pants.

"Please, don't go again." Logan shouted after the retreating blue figure.

"I'm not leaving. I'm trying to find my pants."

Logan could hear the embarrassment in his voice. Chuckling he replied, "No use in looking. They are in shreds near our tree." He slowly walked over to Hank. "We will have to sneak into the mansion quietly.

"I am not walking through the mansion naked. You'll have to grab a lab coat from the infirmary and bring it out." He was still hiding behind a tree.

"Oh relax, I have seen a penis before. Not to mention what just happened earlier." He stopped talking quickly not wanting to remember it. Solemnly he added, "Come here, I want to make sure you're alright."

"No, just go get my lab coat. I'll wait near our tree."

"Fine, but after we get inside, I am having a look over you. No excuses." He took off at a jog, knowing even with all his fur, Hank must be getting a little cold without any clothes on.

Thankfully there were no students out and they made it to Hank's room without any problems.

Once inside, Hank went to the bathroom and found he was unable to close the door due to a foot.

"Oh no, the deal was I am checking you over." Logan said prying the door back open.

"I'll be alright."

"No you won't. Even if you didn't get a major injury it will take hours to get all that matting out of your fur."

Hank made to respond in defiance but was cut off, "Listen. I can either be here, or I can leave. This isn't a threat, I'm just saying I can't live here and be with you, if you don't allow me to actually be with you. We both push people away when it means getting close to someone. Meet me half way on this one."

"What if what happened earlier happens again?"

"I'm helping you clean off, we will take it slow. It isn't fair if I can't leave, but I can't be with you at the same time." Logan contemplated his words for a moment. "I am always afraid of being trapped. Please don't trap me like that."

Hank was always dumbfounded when Logan made statements like this. He couldn't understand how a person that communicated by grunting could have such great perspective on his own life.

"Don't look at me like that. Just because I don't talk much, doesn't mean I don't think. For the most part I know what is wrong with me, I just need help fixing myself. It is the same with you. Just let me help you Hank."

Slowly Hank removed the lab coat and watched Logan's eyes. This was the first time he would be truly naked in front of someone. He went around without a shirt many times because of the heat, but there was a fear of rejection by being this open with someone. Logan's face crinkled. Mistaking Logan's emotion he put the lab coat back on.

"I can't do this. See, you're revolted by me."

Logan placed his hand on Hank's as he was coving himself.

"Stop. I told you before, you are beautiful. I'm just upset about the blood. Why is there fur missing? You weren't fighting anything but me." He waited but got no response. "Please, tell me what is going on."

Hesitantly Hank replied. "While I was running, I was fighting with the beast. I kept transforming in and out of consciences. I wanted to be rid of it. I wanted to be rid of the fur. I just want to be normal. I ripped it out, trying to show the beast that it can't control me." Ashamed he looked away. "I wanted to get rid of the fur so you'd find me attractive."

This time there was a hug, but there was no awkwardness. Both men embraced and just enjoyed being close. After moments of just being together Logan pushed Hank back and tilted his head to meet his gaze.

"Look at me." Hank pulled his head back down. "I'm not lying to you. Please, just look into my eyes so you can see I'm telling the truth."

After a few moments their eyes met, "You are beautiful just the way you are. You're going to have to trust me to prove it to you. I want to kiss you again, but this time don't close your eyes. Keep looking at me."

"I don't think that is such a good idea."

"No, hear me out. Maybe we can't have a sexual relationship right now, but we can have an emotional one. Touching and kissing isn't just about sex. It is about trust. It is about caring about one another. You just need to learn to differentiate between the two."

Hank chuckled, "Look at you being all Mr. Psychology." More serious. "And what if it doesn't work?"

"When I am near you, I get this calm about me. Sure, sometimes when we are together I get a little horny, but mostly it is a calmness. I trust you and it makes me relax. My fears and anxiety go away. I want to touch and hold you, not to get off, but to become closer to you. Earlier, even though I wanted to initiate sex, I didn't want to do it to get my rocks off. I wanted to do it so I could share myself with you."

"See, you aren't attracted to me. I am a monster."

"No you idiot." Logan breathed exhaustedly. "If this is how hard headed I am most of the time, no wonder no one can stand to be around me." He smirked.

"I am attracted to you, your scent, your body, and your beautiful smile. That isn't why I want to be with you though. Sex is just sex, it is about two people who have an attraction getting off. I have done that, there is no connection, and you don't care about the person. I want more"

"Have you ever experienced this phenomenon you are talking about?" Hank questioned.

"Well no. The only person I can remember feeling this way was about Jean and we never." He didn't finish it. It still hurt. "But I know what I feel now. We don't have to do anything sexual right now, we can take it slow. I just am asking you for a kiss. Don't concentrate on the sights, smells, or touch; just concentrate on the person."

Still Hank looked hesitant.

"Please?"

Slowly both men found their lips touching. Eyes open, and awkward.

Logan chuckled, "Well, a little more strange kissing with your eyes open, but you get the idea. It isn't about the sex, it is about the person."

"I think I can understand, but we need to be careful."

Again their lips met, eyes closed, and this time all guards were down. Their breathing became slow and rhythmic and their hands found each other's bodies. Moments went by and each man enjoyed just being with the other. As hands explored more, they became more frantic and Logan could sense the pheromones from Hank changing. He quickly pulled away.

"See, we just have to go slow. I want you, you are beautiful to me in every way." He leaned forward and smooched Hank on the lips quickly. "Now, let me help you."

Logan removed the lab coat and examined each cut and gash. Hank's healing factor had already started the healing process, but it would be a couple of hours before all the damage was repaired. The hair would take days to regrow. After the injury examination he started to pull out debris from Hank's fur. Twigs and leaves were tangled everywhere. Every now and then he would pull a bit too hard near an open wound and would sense tension from Hank.

"Relax Hank. It's fine. Just breathe."

That seems to relieve Hank a little as his body posture became a bit less tense. After the big debris Logan went over to the shower and started to turn on the water.

"What are you doing?" There was no way Hank was going to let Logan bathe him.

"There is no way you are going to get finished doing this by yourself any time soon and I want to spend some more time with you for Christmas." He knew the excuse was weak, but he wanted to help and get a little closer to Hank. As soon as Hank began to relax, Logan began to take off his jacket and shirt.

"Whoa, what are you doing now?"

A smile sprawled across Logan's face. "I'm taking off my cloths so I can help you shower. I thought it was a given." He chuckled, "Besides someone has left some rather sticky fluids on my clothes and it's getting uncomfortable." Hank's frown was evident. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry I brung it up."

"I think we are pushing our luck with this."

Logan grabbed Hank's hand and put placed it on his chest. "It's just flesh. It doesn't have to be sexual, just sensual." With that he pulled the furry man into another kiss. This time he could feel Hank's arousal and pushed off.

"It is going to take some practice, but we will get there. Now, go ahead and start getting wet. I'll be in there in a moment."

Hank walked over towards the shower and adjusted the water. When he turned back he was floored. Logan was now standing nude in front of him. Muscles were rippled and gleaming with sweat and mist. There was much more hair than Hank would have guessed. It was enough hair to run your fingers through. It was enough to become matted if it got too dirty. It was a different kind of fur he was jealous of. What he wouldn't give to have that instead of his long blue fur.

He looked down and saw a flaccid penis. Logan was not aroused like he was and suddenly he felt self-conscience. He could sense the testosterone and other pheromones from Logan that plainly said he was aroused, but there was no stiffness. He turned away quickly to hide his erection and stepped into the shower. The water hurt for a split second on the open wounds but quickly changed to warm relief.

Logan watched him lather up, trying to let him gain some composure. He knew he was forcing his way into this a little fast, but he saw no other way. It was taking everything in his control not to pounce on Hank and have his way with him. He wanted it so badly, but also knew that Hank needed to accept hisself first. Hank needed to trust him, and to trust himself. For that matter, he wanted to prove to Hank that he was worth the trouble.

After a while Hank started to relax as he concentrated on shampooing himself. The ritual was so normal to him he lost himself and completely forgot about Logan until an arm wrapped around his chest and he felt another body pressed against his back. As soon as his body started to tense up, his fur began changing to a darker color. Logan sensed the change and quickly put his lips to Hank's ear.

"Calm down, it's just me. Just relax."

His fur turned back to its normal color and both men just stood under the water enjoying each other. Logan started to massage the shampoo into blue chest hairs sending shivers through Hank's body. After a good while Logan had suceeded in making sure that Hank was healing ok, and his fur was clean. Hank in turn explored Logan's body although it didn't take nearly as much time. The dark beast was constantly on the verge of breaking through. Each time Hank thought he would lose control he would focus on Logan's eyes and he would calm down.

Logan learned how hard Hank really did have it when it came to drying. He had to use several towels and a blow dryer. Then he had to comb all of the fur to make sure there were no knots. Hank's back was tangled from not being able to reach and Logan took it upon himself to rememdy that situation. There was not much talking, just feeling. Each man felt as though words would ruin the magic. After several kisses Logan said good night and he went to his own room. That night he had strange dreams. He dreamt of a world where him and Hank were lovers but both human. Neither man looked as they did now, but he knew that the men were himself and Hank. When he awoke the only image he recalled from his dream was that of a big cat, and a huge wolverine.


	5. Chapter 5

_I have been away for too long. I am back now. This is what I have so far, wrote it in two days. I don't like it, but it is where my thoughts took me as I forced myself to write. I have notes written on where the story is to go, I just don't know how to bridge the gap from the current situation to my notes. I will get there. I will try to be updating at least once a week. Also, if anyone has a job for me, I need one. Fluent in maya, nuke, unity3d, modeling, scripting, rigging, compositing and just about anything to do with video games or movies. Very versatile. Can relocate! :D _

**Chapter 5**

Logan woke up and glanced at the alarm clock. Damn Hank and his early mornings. For weeks he hadn't been able to sleep late even when he tried. Thinking of Hank led to mixed feelings; arousal, despair, lust, and love.

He hadn't thought about loving Hank before, but he guess he did. Every moment of his life his thoughts ventured to him. Even in his sleep he couldn't stop thinking about Hank. The previous evening's events didn't make this easy though. How was he supposed to date someone he couldn't touch? Especially when the very sight or scent of the man made him uncontrollably horny.

And love, what did he know about love? He loved Jean but it felt nothing like this. Jean was what he thought he wanted. What he saw on TV and what couples walking down the street had. Hank was what he needed. His very soul belonged to this man. He was in love. There was no question about it.

That realization scared him the most. What was he giving him in return? All he did was bitch and moan. He still couldn't understand why someone as great as Hank even paid him the slightest attention. Quickly he shook his head. There was no point in going down this path. If he learned anything in his experience with Hank, it was that there was no point in constantly thinking negatively. Instead he mentally told himself that he was just following his Instincts just as Hank had said.

After a quick morning routine, he put on some clothes and without having to think found himself at Hanks door. Deciding they were beyond knocking after last night he opened it to find Hank still asleep. In the ten or so months he had befriended this man, this had never happened. Usually Hank's schedule was to wake up at six so he could clean himself and his bed sheets. That normally took at least two hours always making him late for breakfast. His position on the bed had changed too. Normally he lay on his back with his arms and legs as far away from his body as possible, today he was snuggled in a light sheet on his side softly snoring.

Logan found himself staring at Hank, just thinking how much he meant to him. He would do anything to keep this man as a friend, he would do much more to make him his lover. Slowly he crawled into bed and spooned the big blue hairy man. It felt so natural. Hank jerked but remained asleep. Logan took this time to slowly caress Hank's chest knowing he had to be careful.

Gently he whispered in Hank's ear, "Rise and shine beautiful."

Hank started to dart around not knowing what was going on. Logan increased his hold and said, "Whoa Blue, calm down. It's just me."

After a few moments of breathing Hank slowly flipped on his back and looked sideways at his intruder. "Don't ever do that again."

Logan felt bad for about two seconds then a smile crept on his face. "Sorry beautiful, I can't do that. From now on if I am the first one up, I get the joy of waking my sexy man up." He then proceeded to place his lips briefly on Hanks and laid down on his chest. He never thought he would be in bed with a man, much less being held by one, but it felt right.

"So, I was thinking," Logan started talking not looking directly in Hank's eyes, just playing with his chest fur. "Yesterday didn't go so well. I meant to make love to you. To show you how much you mean to me but I couldn't."

Hank started to interrupt but Logan placed his fingers on his mouth and briefly kissed him again. "I know the reasons, and I know it wasn't all my fault, but I still wanted to show you that I want you. I also realize that it might take some time until we get to that point."

Suddenly he felt brave and he looked into Hank's eyes. A calmness swept over him and he found the courage to admit not only to Hank, but to himself, "I love you Hank."

Neither man said anything. Hank's mind was racing. No one had ever told him that before. How could someone as caring and faithful as Logan ever love a monster like him? His thoughts started racing and his heart started to match. Logan picked up on his mood change and quickly remedied the situation.

"I think I know exactly what you are feeling. I was feeling the same way this morning. I was scared. I was thinking who am I to expect this great man to love me. I almost didn't tell you. I had to follow some of your advice. I had to stop thinking and do as you told me; follow my instincts. Well, this is where they brought me."

Logan stopped after that, searching for an answer to his unsaid plea. Hank finally took a deep breath and responded.

"Thank you for reminding me Logan."

Not understanding what he meant, "Remind you of what?"

"Of why I love you too."

With that Hank pushed Logan onto his back and climbed on top of him. Lips met and they stayed like that, just kissing and enjoying each other's bodies. Hank finally broke the embrace after a while and lay down, placing his head on Logan's chest. He placed his arm around his waist and just lay there not able to enjoy bare chest as Logan still had his clothes on.

Hank said, "I understand what you mean now about body contact not having to be sexual. I think we can safely kiss now. Just, I really need to be clothed." After that they just enjoyed the silence and being with each other.

Eventually Logan broke the reverie, "I have something for you. The only two things I owned after my transformation was my bike, and these." He took a chain off his neck with a little difficulty from having a giant man lying on him. "I want you to have them."

Hank sat up and examined the chain. It contained two dog tags. On one side the dog tags read, "Logan J. Howlett" and on the other, "Wolverine 45825243".

"My motorcycle being destroyed was the first step I needed to stop focusing on the past. It made me realize that all I did was concentrate on what was, and infuriate myself at not being able to remember. I missed so much of my life. I could have made a new life for myself, but I was too busy being miserable. I want to give these too you because you made me realize that I can have whatever I want. To me these signify that I belonged to my past. That I couldn't have a future. I give them to you, because now I belong to you. You are my future."

After about thirty more minutes of mutual body exploration Hank interrupted, "Sorry to cut this short, but I really have to pee."

When Hank returned he was fully clothed. This didn't go unnoticed by Logan, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew that he was pushing Hank's control this morning. He was grateful for the short time they shared.

As the day started, Hank advised Logan of their plans. They were to pack and leave around three in the evening. The camp ground Hank reserved was in an Indian reservation about two hours away. It wasn't open to the public except for a souvenir shop, but Hank was welcome because he sometimes went to supply his medical expertise.

As the day went by, each man seemed to find a way to make contact with the other. Sometimes it was a subtle hand brush, others it was full on bumping into the other. Usually this was done by Logan just to irritate the larger man.

They pulled into the reservation around five, Logan driving his motorcycle, and Hank in his truck.


End file.
